Hmmm, how does one continue a narration like this? All I would do, once more, is ask once more that you do not read this narration like a story to entertain. No, we are here to contemplate together.
Read these words but do not forget to READ. Are you with me?
As I walked from my bedroom towards the balcony to meet Jeremiah, I felt this great coldness within me. Was it the intensity of his presence? Was it the look of disappointment on the face of the angel that accompanied him to my room? Was it awe? I don't really know.
As I was walking towards the balcony to meet him, however, my heart had fallen. His presence was so fiery and commanding, the very first words he spoke already shattered me to pieces.
As I was walking towards the balcony, I had my face cast towards the ground. Hahah, what caused my head to be so lifted up in the first place? Prior to that moment I probably believed myself to be significant, I allowed myself to be deluded by heavenly experiences and encounters.
Truly, there is a difference between those who are tourists of the heavenly regions, granted an excursion for a short time, and those who are residents. Yes, there is a difference between those who are sojourners and those who DWELL!
Miserable sojourner that I had been, granted access by the grace and mercy of God to stimulate and encourage my faith, to inspire and propel me. I allowed myself to believe that it was something attained by merit, I allowed myself believe it was something I had earned.
Hahah, how easy it is to forget that we are charity cases of God; how easy is it to forget that the word 'grace' literally means 'charity'.
Ahhh, I had been a great fool and how blessed I was to discover it, how fortunate was I that my Lord would send Jeremiah to help me discover the fool in me. Thank God. The Apostle Paul did say:
'Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. ' I Corinthians 3:18
As I was walking towards the balcony, I don't know whether I was ashamed or afraid, I don't know. A few steps seemed like a thousand and an innumerable flurry of thoughts dashed through my mind in fractions of a second. All this while I couldn't even look up to Jeremiah's face or the face of the angel that came with him.
I was just walking, walking, walking.
Finally, I reached the sliding glass door that separated my bedroom from my balcony. As I put my first foot through door, I looked up and there he was, at the edge of the balcony, backing me and facing the sun.
He had his hands on the railing as he gazed at the sun. Looking at his backside I thought to myself "What manner of man is this? How can I ever be like this?".
Hmmm, there are those who are sojourners and there are those who DWELL! The heavenly regions are not just dimensions of existence but states of being, quality of being. Remember the words of the prophet:
'Who may ascend into the mountain of the Lord ? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, Nor sworn deceitfully.' Psalms 24:3-4
Yes, the 'mountain' of the Lord is a symbol for the superior regions of nature. The highest mountains on our planet have been climbed by people whose spiritual value are worth not much more than a pea. We must understand that David is not speaking of some literal mountain in the middle or far east.
No, he is speaking of the mountain of divine ascension, divine inebriation, divine ecstasy.
The beings that inhabit the heavenly regions are beings of infinite love, infinite peace, infinite joy. Their countenance is indescribable, their compassion is indescribable. The outward dimension of heaven is a product of the inward beauty they possess, the very same way the outward hell we see in our world today is a product of the inward ugliness this humanity possesses.
Yes, I was indeed in the presence of a dweller of the heavenly regions, one whose name is not just a name but an entire dimension of attainment in God. Haha, there are names and there are NAMES and there is a NAAAAMEEEE. I hope you can read?
He barely spoke, yet his presence alone had already said so much. I walked up to him, looking upon his broad backside and majestic height as he gazed at the sun. He was still, almost frozen and said not a word, as he continued to look at the sun.
The moment I stood beside him, something truly remarkable happened. Yes, the moment I stood beside him, something unexplainable happened. He didn't even look at me, he just continued to gaze at the sun as I stood beside him. He didn't utter a word, yet, I felt such an overwhelming love and compassion from him.
His face was fiery and stern, he didn't crack a smile, yet I felt a love so intense that my shame began to wither away. My God, I was already in tears and I felt to myself "Ahh, this man loves me". For some reason I immediately knew I was safe, from him I felt a warmth I could recognize, from him I felt the love of my inner father.
Slowly, that feeling of shame and coldness began to dissipate as quickly as it came.
Ahhh, yes, a deep mystery was communicated to me in that moment. A mystery about the nature of God. My friend, I hope you are still with me? I am speaking to you, yes you, I hope you are understanding the purpose of this narration?
Listen to the prayer of Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel:
'“The Lord kills and makes alive; He brings down to the grave and brings up. The Lord makes poor and makes rich; He brings low and lifts up.' I Samuel 2:6-7
My Lord and my God, how merciful you are! How gracious you are! How kind you are! You kill the things that ought not to be alive in me that you may quicken the things that ought to be, you humble me to the valley of my own foolishness that I may be elevated to the mountain of your wisdom, you make me become poor of the things that impoverish me and enrich me with things truly rich!
How sweet you are, my Lord and my lover.
God is not like man who causes us shame for pleasure or for vengeance. When God causes us to be ashamed, it is because WE HAD BEEN TOO COMFORTABLE DOING THINGS WE OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN ASHAMED OF!
It is mercy, it is favour, it is love. I am right now reminded of a saying of a wise man of old which I will now paraphrase, it goes thus: "I would rather live my life doing good deeds without receiving commendation, than live my life doing bad deeds without receiving correction".
Great tragedies befall those who have not been fortunate enough to receive correction in their youth. The entire world becomes a stumbling block for them and they clash with life at every turn. They fall into the pit of error upon error, painful consequence upon painful consequence.
How many children have grown up to realize how handicapped and ill equipped they are to face the world? Deep down they resent their parents for letting them get away with so many things in childhood, deep down they are grieved for not being taught discipline, patience, contentment, self-control when the stakes were lower.
If God makes you cry, it is because you ought to have been crying and you didn't know. How could you have done all these things without feeling sorrowful, without remorse? How could you have been at peace after the things you just said? How can you sleep peacefully after how just treated that person? Truly, the master made no mistake when he said:
'“But to what shall I liken this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to their companions, and saying:
‘We played the flute for you, And you did not dance; We sang a dirge to you, And you did not lament.’' Matthew 11:16-17
A 'dirge' is a song sang as lamentation for the dead. When it is sung, it is customary to sigh and wail at the face of death, at the face of loss. There are many times the Holy Spirit sings dirges to us, pushing us to lament over our own inner decay, yet we laugh and play as though we ought to be joyful.
Thank God for his mercies that helps us to cry when we ought to cry, thank God for his mercies that helps us to laugh and dance when we ought to be laughing.
Isn't it ironic? We lament and cry in the face of the storms of life, even though we have God in our boat playing the flute of peace and joy. We laugh and dance in the midst of our own perishing, when we have kicked God out of the boat, even though he sings many dirges in our hearts. Truly:
We played the flute for you, And you did not dance; We sang a dirge to you, And you did not lament.’' Matthew 11:16-17
As I stood there beside him, saying nothing but looking at the sun together, wells of realization were springing up within me. Indeed, he wanted me to look at the sun, the light of revelation of truth, the light of discovery, the light of repentance.
Ahh, it truly was a 'LET THERE BE LIGHT' moment. When light appears, it first of all causes us to see the unfortunate state of things, it causes us to lament, then it builds us.
After gazing at the sun for a while, he then gazed at me and said "I am hungry, prepare food for me to eat. "
Wow. I cannot explain to you the shock of that moment. In that moment, I don't know whether I was excited that such a being would want to eat in my deplorable home or whether I was shocked that such a being even ate in the first place.
I then responded to him saying "Sir, tell me what you would like to eat. I would prepare it right away. " Hahah, finally, I saw him crack a smile as he looked at me. The love was palpable, the compassion was palpable. I have only ever felt such a peace when I sit in the presence of my inner father.
His smile was different. His head tilted slightly to the right and his eyes glistened with tears, his lips extended ever so slightly at the corners of his mouth without his teeth showing.
Ahh, it was a smile I knew all too well. It was not a smile of excitement, as though I had said something right. No, it was a smile of deep pity, deep compassion. It was a smile that said "I want to help this boy. "
He then walked out of the balcony and back into my bedroom. To my surprise and to the surprise of the angel who came with him, he laid his giant body on my miserable bed and made himself at home.
I cannot tell you how I felt seeing that, words will really fail me. How can someone so glorious tabernacle with something so filthy? My friends, I will leave you to READ the significance fn that moment, I will leave you to meditate on what it means.
As he laid on the bed, he then made a list of the things he wanted to eat and MY GOODNESS! I was shocked by what I saw.
To be continued...
Wow! Hmmm